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griefstairs

Grieving Without Expectation

Learning how to grieve seems silly, but I am. As we drew closer to Zekey’s entering of Heaven, I started wondering, and often, “How would I grieve?” Would I surprise myself and go off the deep end, turning into a pile of rubble? I…

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A Video Of Zekey

My husband, Andy put together this beautiful video for Zekey’s funeral yesterday, March 29th, 2014. The truth of where Zekey is brings me peace and joy for him and hope knowing I’ll see him again. As you will see in the video, Zekey was beautiful, a…

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Zekey Is Finally Home

As I sit here in Zekey’s bed, the place where he spent the last 6 months of his life, watching a lot of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, CARS, and Thomas- Misty Island Rescue, I feel intense loss mixed with much relief for my sweet Zekey-boy….

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A Sea of Angry Waves and Jesus

Hospice, they told us this would happen. With children who are dying, their health goes up and down and our emotions would go right with it. It has been a constant need for adjustment with accepting the truth of what the latest ‘norm’ for…

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The Sometimes Preacher’s wife

When Andy (thesometimespreacher) and I finally started dating and my secrets of pursuing him finally won (more on our eros love story to come soon!) it was important to him that I was on board with being a pastor’s wife. He knew his calling…

#prayforZekey

The Latest Updates on Zeke

Hospital Hauntings

The familiar routine of the nurses talking through every step while putting in an IV, I watch and remember. The questions they ask as they start the machine and I can’t help but want them to leave, even as sweet and helpful as they…

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The Unchanging Picture Frame

To take time to write is to take time to grieve. Sure, it isn’t as often I find myself losing my breath missing my boy, but it sure does happen and enough that I am never far from remembering the gaping hole our family…

Happy 6th Birthday, Zekey

I stayed up late to be awake when it became 11-19. I cried, I ached, I longed to have been up for other reasons. Such as decorating for him to wake up and see our excitement for him and being with us another year,…