A break from silence

Wildwood Park Toledo, OH

This winter has been much like last year- full of snowstorms and record-low temperatures. I haven’t hated it, and a part of me has felt very at home in this season. It was just last year that I found myself longing for winter to stay because I knew what was coming. Zekey would go with the winter.

I’ve been so quiet but my heart has been wrestling and praying through things as I walk into a new phase in life. I am trying to find my place after loss in my mothering and in the social media world. Child-bearing years are over and a much greater grief has made that less of a big deal to me. I’ve been pressing into God and finding solace as I ask Him to lead and guide me and to not feel nervous that my story cannot be held by any other than God and even a bit by those, too, who have suffered greatly or for hearts who have great compassion for those who have suffered.

Turning 30 on January 24th, and as I look back on the last decade, I see that my two, really big dreams came true.  I would never declare my 20s, “The Decade My Dreams Came True” because being blessed with a Christian man, 4 children and now designing clothes for my own line hasn’t come without much suffering, loss and heartache. It was actually a really, really hard 10 years. I type this with tears falling because as hard as it was, God was so good and near and He never left us, and continues to show He has always gone before us. You can go ahead and listen to this song as it speaks so much of my heart’s cry, looking back on my 20s.

So much has happened in the last few months. I mean, SO much. I want to share these things with you because I know God is using our story- it’s such an honor to be used by Him.

When we celebrated Zekey’s birthday this past November 19th, Andy received a phone call from a guy named Yogi- our pastors from LifePoint, the church I rave about in the Columbus, OH as they were so good to us during a really dark time in our lives, had met up with Yogi and he asked if they knew of a couple who would be a good candidate to plant a church in the area, specifically with Christian Missionary Alliance. I hear they immediately thought of Andy and I and that really, really blessed us.  We hold them in such high regard, it was a true honor to be thought of by Dean and Troy.

Just a month prior, we bought our house. Funny thing, right before we bought this house, Westerville, OH came up in strange ways, like watching HGTV, for example. Our hearts were tugged but there were no open doors and God was using us in the Toledo/Sylvania area and so we decided to put down our roots.

A month later, we received the call on Zekey’s birthday and have been praying and meeting with Yogi and his wife, Joy ever since. God’s continuing to show His hand in it all, in comical ways really. Andy was officially offered the position as associate pastor in January and he will start April 1st.

We would love your prayers on selling our house- we’d love to move back in time for the kids to finish school in our new home (wherever that is) and school before summer starts. We are also praying for support financially and that God would continue to speak to the hearts of people who would be a part of this as we prepare to reach and love on people in the community, inviting others to join in the Hope of Jesus who do not yet know Him.

During this time, I also had the kickstarter for Garment Collective which was a huge success! I am grateful everyday for how God spoke to so many hearts and how many of you listened and joined in.

Now, I see that Garment Collective isn’t just a dream inspired by Zekey, turned mission, but also a way for our family to do what God is calling us to do, plant a church and give where we feel called. I will be able to help out financially, doing what I love. A true blessing.

I am completely amazed at God. I feel so unworthy of so much that He is doing in our lives but so grateful. We have loved our time in Toledo, OH- being back with family and friends while Zekey made his way to heaven- it was a true blessing. We are also thrilled that God’s calling us back to a city we called home and raised our babies, a city we have completely fallen in love with and want to spend the rest of our days, sharing our story of Hope in Jesus in the midst of great heartache to the people in this city.

If you feel a tug on your heart, God calling you to join us in this mission God’s called us to in planting a church and would like to give financially, please email me at Breena.holt@gmail.com and I will put you in contact with the senior pastor, Yogi.

Thank you for continuing to follow our story and pray for our family as we enter this exciting new phase, navigating though our grief all while living out true Hope in Jesus.

Love and blessings to you!

 

 

9 Comments

  • Reply March 6, 2015

    Andrea Baugher

    Beautifully written, Breena. I’m filled with joy to read how God continues to lay a path before your family and how you are so faithful to pursue it! Praying that He enables your house to sell quickly as you follow His call back here. Can’t wait to read how He works it all out. :)
    – Andrea

    • Reply March 6, 2015

      bree

      Andrea,

      Thank you so much! Appreciate your kind words of encouragement as well as the prayers. I hope your sweet family is doing well!

      Breena

  • Reply March 6, 2015

    Grace

    Oh, God… He is so sweet, so good. He continues to unfold more of Himself in your story, and I just love it!

    • Reply March 8, 2015

      bree

      Grace,

      You’re the sweetest encourager! Thank you, friend!

  • Reply March 7, 2015

    Mary Rumschlag

    So very happy for all of you but, I confess, sad for those at Grace who are losing you. We enjoyed the life you brought to our church body! I pray that God will open the right home, in the right neighborhood for you to be used in a mighty way! He has a plan and you can be assured that you have a part in that plan. Love you guys soooo much! Thank you for being here with us this past year.

    • Reply March 8, 2015

      bree

      Mary,

      We are so sad to leave, truly. Its all bittersweet. So excited for what God’s doing but so many sweet relationships to leave. Love you and so thankful for your grace and understanding God’s hand in this. It means so much to me!

      Breena

  • Reply March 16, 2015

    Amanda

    Breena, it’s Amanda from Westerville. Could I help you locate/navigate anything on this end during this time? Please let me know. We think of you all so much and look forward to seeing Eisely’s smiling face again.

    • Reply March 24, 2015

      Bree

      Amanda!!!

      Goodness, you are on mine as well! Easley would be thrilled to see Emmy again! You can just pray we find a house that suits us, in Westerville (preferably Northish). We’d LOVE to reconnect with you and your sweet family!!

      Love to you!

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