When Andy (thesometimespreacher) and I finally started dating and my secrets of pursuing him finally won (more on our eros love story to come soon!) it was important to him that I was on board with being a pastor’s wife. He knew his calling on his life and wanted to be sure that whatever woman was to stand with him, that they would be on board, too. I incautiously nodded and smiled. I just knew I wanted to be with him and he believed in me (more than I did myself) so everything else didn’t matter- money, where we lived, what we did, as long as it was with him and God.
Gosh did I not know what I was saying ‘yes’ to. ha! Andy didn’t, either. The next 9 years were about to be full of intense, spiritual growth which doesn’t come free. Dating long distance and eventually happily married and a move to Boston for a year, becoming pregnant with our first baby after two months of being married. Two church plants having to be closed before they had a chance. Financial struggles, not caused by irresponsibility. More babies in a city without family, uprooting from a beautiful community in Columbus, OH to live near family because of a son who could die before his 5th birthday.
You guys, it’s been so rough but so, so good. We have laughed and cried (well, I’ve sobbed) together. We’ve questioned God when everything was falling apart. When so much was being taken away from us all while we were following His lead, desperately wanting to follow His will. When some of those closest to us turned their back on us, when our son kept getting worse, when life simply was not fun.
But, it’s these times of trial we have been made new. Always becoming more of who God has for us to be, learning He really is our only true refuge. We’ve seen blessing in the midst of the darkest valley. We’ve learned our need for God cannot be quenched by human anything. We’ve seen the hands and feet of Jesus through healthy community serving us in our darkest days, and we’ve seen those closest to us walk away during these times, too.
I’ve watched Andy lead many into deeper, truer relationships with Jesus. I’ve watched him pour his everything into pastoring a church plant, discipling men and seen them flourish and grow in their faith. We’ve poured hours and love into many young adults who stayed late into the nights eating cookie dough and doing life together. We’ve reaped much good intertwined with the losses and heartaches we have faced – God has been so good to us.And because of Jesus, I can still hold my husband’s hand firmly and look out into our lives and feel blessed. It’s an honor to have all the scars we have because God uses them to bring others to Him, and He is the best thing for us, for you.
Being a pastor’s wife was never a dream of mine but it’s an honor. Andy has been the man who has guided me on a path to becoming all who God has for me to be. He has gently guided me to see God for more of who He is which has brought me much healing. He’s my biggest fan and my favorite pastor. He’s my best ‘yes’. I’m so glad to be on this journey with him and God and our littles.
With all of the healing God has poured out through Andy, for me, I’ve learned God has beautiful plans for me, too. As I take blind steps of faith towards God, He grabs my hand and gently guides me on a path to becoming all God has for me, scars and all, that through these things, I may point others to Him. I’m so humbled and thankful.
The scars are worth it, to walk humbly with my husband-pastor, The Sometimes Preacher and my God.