In my previous post, I shared how Zeke doesn’t have Dravet Syndrome and how excited we were to hear that. I also shared that we had not received his MRI results.
Until two nights ago, while out with a friend, I hadn’t really come to grips with the news. I knew what the results were from the MRI after talking with Zeke’s neurologist on Monday. We told only my mom and mother-in-law just to get out the facts to family but couldn’t handle any more at that time.
I also knew what is true of God. The problem was, I couldn’t connect the two. They were separate for a time as I tried to process it all. Our lives are busy, busy. Dr.visits, therapy, tending to the unique needs of the kids all while trying to break up our day with SOMETHING fun…something. It’s hard in this season we are in to find time to process.
Wednesday I received a text from a friend who I haven’t been able to connect with ever since I had to quit my Thirty-One team as her Director. We originally knew each other from our old church but it was through Thirty-One that we became closer. She asked if I wanted to go and grab a bit to eat! I was starving and it had been a rough two days…”Yes!!!” was my response!
So, we went out and chatted the night away. She is beautiful on the inside and out. She’s super fun, real and loves Jesus. A fantastic combination.
What was so great was just being free to finally combine hearing Zeke’s results and what is true of God. They were not two separate thoughts or facts anymore. Zeke has a spot in his brain that isn’t developing right + God is healer = truth.
We talked about the verse I bring up often on here, “For we fight not against flesh and blood (each other) but against spiritual powers of darkness (the enemy hard at work against The Body of Christ)” We discussed that knowing Zeke’s results on the MRI and the specifics give us more power in our prayer.
I know.I know. God already knows Zeke’s issues so it’s not ‘more powerful’ to pray for specifics. But, it is!
The things we say out loud are powerful! Whether good or bad! They can bring life or death. (Proverbs 18:21) We speak Jesus’ name, is that not powerful? There is power in prayer and praying against things specifically, I believe, is also a wise thing to do when praying for people.
The MRI results were hard to hear. Zeke had an MRI back in June of last year which showed this tiny, millimeter spot of his brain that hadn’t developed. They called this “insignificant” and we moved on.
Well, that spot has changed. From what the dr. said, it seems it’s gotten bigger.
So the question is, why? There are two possibilities we are looking at. One is that he has some other genetic disorder, giving off a toxic chemical that is causing this part of the brain not to develop which is causing all of his seizures.
Possibility #2 is that the inflammation in his brain is because of his autoimmune disease which is causing the seizures and the seizures are keeping the spot from developing. Get it?
As I was finally able to talk it out with God, I said something like this, “God, I selfishly want him to have the autoimmune disease because I can actually do something about that. We can get the IVIG once a month (for years, mind you) and I’ll change his diet to foods that do not cause inflammation and he will be a-okay!
But, there’s this part of me that wants You to be the Healer without a doubt in anyone’s mind that it wasn’t ‘just a physical thing’. I know, I know, you work through the dr.’s, giving them the wisdom but not everyone would agree with that. There’s room for so much doubt in people’s minds if medicine fixes it. But then, if He is healed supernaturally and there isn’t a way that anyone could doubt it was You, that means all of this other stuff is going to have to fail…I don’t know how much more I can take.
God, please. I give you this situation, I give you my son. Have your way in his healing…we pray and wait expectantly on You.”
Either outcome isn’t too big for God. He can wipe away the toxic chemical and the seizures. He can provide us with ways to clear his brain of inflammation. Nothing is too big for Him. So, I rest in that.
Our prayer is that God would either cause the chemical to disappear and allow Zeke’s brain to continue to develop or that God would allow the IVIG to work so that Zeke’s seizures will stop and his brain has a chance to catch up.
Both are from Him. I really don’t care how He does it, it’s just the timing of it all. We’re ready to celebrate Zeke’s full healing. We are given today and we take what we know and pray accordingly, believe and press on and at the end of this (and our lives) be able to say 2 Timothy 4:7 confidently :
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
Thank you, prayer warriors!