I want to always be willing to be a fool to the world because they see the things I do and hear the things I say. I knew that the past few days, with Zeke miraculously being seizure-free was an opportunity for me to become a “fool for God.” I was willing, just as I was the day I prayed over the man at Target who was having a seizure.
Here is the story. Friday of last week was the 3rd day Zeke was having days full of seizures. I even called the neorologist’s office to ask what to do. They didn’t seem too concerned since he is diagnosed with retractable seizures and when I asked what they would do if I took him into the hospital, she said they would just give him meds to stop the seizures and be sent home afterwards. I asked her “And when they start up again, then what?” She didn’t really have an answer. She just kept saying, “Well, if this is normal for him, then…but if it’s not then…”
I didn’t feel good about the situation, obviously. I was holding my son, seizing and didn’t feel taking him to the hospital was going to do much good. I held him all day long (somehow with 4 kids, I make it work) and Andy and I felt like we were going to loose him.
That night, I went out with a friend and she asked how Zeke was and I said, “I just don’t know how much longer we will have with him. God has to intervene or he’s just not going to survive.” And honestly, a life of seizure after seizure with meds and their side effects, doesn’t seem like much of a life to live. On those days, I beg God to take him if He is not going to heal him on earth because I know he will be whole in heaven. No tears, no pain, no seizures…Zeke, all wrapped up in God’s image.
This blog post was supposed to be written two nights ago so I could tell you all about God’s miracle in Zeke. Because, miraculously, with a slight med change, on a very, very low dose and a 1-2% chance of success, Zeke started becoming seizure free. And then again for another day…I was convinced it was a miracle! God was answering our prayer of healing in Zeke and His kingdom was making it’s way into Zeke’s body, making him whole.
And because I answer to God and not you, or FB friends, blog viewers or Twitter followers, I was willing to be, A fool for God.
Why? Because, well, basically God is calling me to that. And ya know what?! It’s sometimes annoyingly difficult. It’s hard to go against the grain and constantly push out the fears, anxieties, and “ya right!’s”. It’s hard not to try and figure out what we did or didn’t do that day which caused him to be siezure`free and basically make myself insane…
But at the same time, when I do push all of those out of my mind and away from my heart, I feel at peace, I feel hope, I feel wrapped up in the Holy Spirit. The lies, they try to kill the truth. The lies try to suffocate what God’s doing, even when I am often wondering myself.
Zeke is having seizures again. So, is it not a miracle? I can’t say it wasn’t…too many things were going against all odds for it to be anything but God. God showed mercy those two days…I got to enjoy my son seizure free for TWO DAYS!!! God’s kingdom is coming in Ezekiel. If we let him and seek him and allow Him to change us, God’s kingdom is coming in ALL of us…because we are ALL in need of redemption.
God tells me and you to pray with a believing heart. He doesn’t tell me to worry about what people will say, or to doubt His goodness or ability to heal or deliver us from something. He isn’t telling me to cover my ground, making sure there isn’t any way that this wasn’t a miracle such as waiting a little longer to be sure the seizure-free days continued on. No. He’s calling me to be a fool for Him. To trust him with all of me, to believe in him with every breath, not to worry, not to fear…but to believe and just keep on following him. Oh, and “just love.”
This Sunday, Pastor Dean preached a good message and I was able to really apply it to our life and situation with Zeke. If you love Jesus, you are promised trials. It’s part of the curse, but it’s also God helping us to remember our need for Him. Read James 1
12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
So, when trials come, how we respond in them is key. How we endure them has an impact on us and those around us. Jesus endured the cross and with that power, through the Holy Spirit, we can endure the trials in this life.
I leave you with this. If you have been given a set of followers whether that be through FB, Twitter, your blog, classrooms, church congregation, workplace, life in general…did I leave anyone out? I beleive God wants us to remember that our main purpose on this earth is not to be the best writter, the funniest friend, the most creative, the most successful Etsy shop owner, the most Pinterest-doer (I think I got all the areas I have struggled with…well, probably not.) but we are here to glorify Him, to share the good news and make disciples. I think we all need to give ourselves and our lives a good look (and I am seriously the first to jump in line!) and ask how we can be doing this better.
2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 3 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. 4 Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. 5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
We need to look up. Look up at the God who is worthy of ALL our praise and start sharing that to those all around us.
Are you willing to be a fool for God?
P.S. If you are still praying for Zeke, thank you and please don’t stop! Please feel free to share any prayer requests you may have…I have readers who are prayer warriors and hopefully they will pray for you too!