Where to begin. Most of my blog-posts are much about this sweet boy.
Zekey, I’ve been so sad for you for so long but now I’m so excited for you, again! The first few years where you seemed to take it all in and be quick to cuddle, smile but had no words make me wonder what else was going on.
You turned two and started getting into everything and I never had a child like that before you, so, honestly, it drove me crazy! But you were still such a sweet boy, just adventurous, curious and explorative. Everyone saw it!
Then, something happened inside of you and we didn’t know what it was. You became a little bit more angry, especially at night. We thought it was just a phase. Then, your first seizure. It scared me more than any other thing in this world. I looked at you and there was no life in your eyes. I was sad and didn’t know if I was losing you.
I didn’t loose you, but I kind of started to. Your seizures became closer together and your meds were adjusted. This made you an angry child, this made you someone you weren’t. Someone far from the way God created you. And deep down inside, I just knew you were being masked by the brokeness of this world through epilepsy.
So I fought and I have been fighting with everything in me to save you. To get my son back. To allow you to be who God really created you to be. Sweet, compliant, exploring, intelligent (whether we get to see it this side of heaven or not, anyone who knows you cannot deny it) and often ornery.
It’s been so exhausting but every step closer we get is worth hours of tears, praying and lack of sleep. You, my sweet boy are worth it all.
I don’t have much else other to say than my hope is, that someday, we will talk together. We will have a real conversation where you tell me what you want to do, what it is you love, your favorite color and maybe even talk back. This would be a miracle and I won’t stop praying for it!
I just want to continue to get to know you and so, for your 3rd year on this earth, as your precious body that has gone through hell and back is being healed, I pray God would bring more healing and restoration and speech. I want to hear you talk. I know you want to. May God bless you to speak in Jesus’ name!
I don’t know what the future holds for you buddy, but I’ll always love you. I’m thankful to God for you. You make my heart leap. You have gone through more than I have in my whole life and you’re stronger than I will ever be.
Happy 3rd, birthday, Zekey-Zoo! You are much loved!
Thank you, God for choosing Andy and I to parent Zekey. It’s humbling and difficutl but you haven’t left us and you have a plan for this sweet boy.