There’s Always Hope

Zeke had a sleep EEG done in September.  This was a 34(ish) hour time frame where he was hooked up with 28 wires all over his head to monitor seizure activity.
Up to this point, we were still figuring out medicine dosages as he kept having seizures every 2-3 weeks.  Things seemed to get worse. I was constantly having to regroup myself, get focused on God and the truth of it all…that no matter what I did, how hard I tried to control the situation, ultimately, it was all and more importantly, Zeke was in God’s hands.
Last Wednesday morning, I really needed a shower.  It had been 3 weeks since Zeke’s last seizure (not since I had a shower!  ha!) and I didn’t think twice about keeping the door open (in case he wanted to be near me which is pretty much always the case), turning the t.v. on, just in case he needed something to entertain him and getting a 15 minute shower in. 
I figured he’d go into Bexley”s room to wake her up and I was okay with that.  Well, about 7 mintues into my shower, Zeke comes in crying.  I am throughly annoyed and just try and keep him out of the shower.  I gave the thought, “Why is he so upset?” about 2 seconds before I then thought, “Because he’s always needing something…he just wants me.”
I finished for 5 more minutes after realizing it was quiet.  I only heard Bexley and so I thought, “Aw, he’s in there playing nicely with her.”
I get out and just open the door to check in on them.  Well, them was only a smiling Bexley.  I call out Zeke’s name and run downstairs to see if he was watching t.v.  I run back upstairs and finally find him asleep on his floor with his favorite turtle pillow.
“Zeke!  Zeke!  Are you okay?!”  He lifts his head and is acting quite lathargic.  Mind you, my boy would never, especially after already having  a mini morning nap, go and just fall asleep on his floor.
I run downstairs, grab my phone and the diastat all while completely confused. Was he having a seizure?!  Why is he acting like this?!
The nurse wasn’t sure so I just went ahead and treated it as a seizure and like every time, I am supposed to call 911.
They come.  I am calling friends left and right to come home with Bexley, pick up Eisley and Cyrus wouldn’t get out until my in-laws came in.  PTL for THAT!  Did I mention Andy was out of town on business?!  Yeah…
Two friends come and jump right in and serve me with everything I needed.  Zeke was crying like crazy, Bexley was hysterical and I just made sure they had everything they needed, I had everythying I needed and went on my way to ride, yet again, in an ambulance with Zekey.
On the way there it hits me!  Zeke had the siezure while I was in the shower and the crying was his postictal response (per usual) and then of course, the falling asleep.
Once we get there, Zeke had snapped out of it and they send me in line to get checked in.  I, of course wondered why I wasn’t taken to a room.  I was told that since he was back to normal and the waiting room was full, I needed to wait.
I became annoyed.  “Why did I even come?!  He’s fine now, he’s always fine afterward.”  Quickly, my eyes were opened to the little ones around me.  One boy had been complaining of stomach pain for 3 days and another young teenager was hulled over in a wheelchair, having pain in her head.
Why was I letting myself get so mad?  Quick mood change and I started having conversations with those around me.  Then, I felt an overwhelming desire to pray for them.  I asked both sets of parents and they gladly accepted the prayer.
I didn’t hold back.  I didn’t say a simple, sweet prayer.  I called God who He is.  Holy.  I asked the Holy Spirit to come without hesiation and I of course, prayed for healing and answers and wisdom for the dr.’s.
God had me there for a reason and I was humbled at the thought.
The thing is, God has us in places all the time ‘for a reason’.  The question is, are we in tune enough with Him to see it? To feel it?  Are we bold enough to share it? 
I feel so guilty when I miss an opportunity to pray for people, and now I get annoyed that I forget to incorporate the gospel and ask these people how much they know about Jesus.  I want to be bold in my faith as I pray for people.
God is real and so is the gospel.  These people are living real lives with real trials just like you and I.  Why not share the Jesus with them who can bring true hope?
I ask myself these questions and I know that I need to get right back into practicing the presence of God.  Get in the word daily, pray to Him, cry to Him and rejoice in Him!
A dear friend of mine and I had breakfast together on Sunday.  She opened my eyes to how much God has always taken care of me whenever Zeke has a seizure.
The details are overwhelming.  It just reminds me that God has it all in His hands.  He’s taking care of our family and especially Zekey.
Yesterday was no exception to God being in the details. We got the results from Zeke’s sleep EEG.  I had asked a few tough questions like, “Why does he seem to get worse?  How dangerous are these seizures?”  One of the first things the neurologist said was, “You just have to pray and believe in God.  No matter what happens, good or bad, Zeke is in His hands.”
Waaaahhh?!  A common theme I can’t get rid of (nor do I want to!)

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