In my “reading-the-bible-in-a-year” plan, I keep reading on Jesus’ healing power. It’s amazing to me as I feel I can relate to these people more than ever, who are begging for Jesus’ healing and praising him dancing away with faith like never before. But, obviously, their faith was strong enough before the miracle to even consider asking for healing from him.
Here’s where we are with Zeke. We started the Help Me Grow therapy in March to help with his speech. I wanted to help out him, my kids and Andy and I as we were all frustrated because he wasn’t talking. I thought it would take about 3 months to get him rolling and we’d be done. He’d start talking and we could move on with our lives.
God had very different plans. Zeke’s receptiveness was lacking and I didn’t realize it. So they told me to start giving him more directions to follow and help him to learn to understand us better. I realized that he really struggled to follow directions but we all saw improvement. I just figured it was because I was a busy mom with a newborn, homeschooling a child for a year and didn’t spend as much time with him as I did with the other two.
Two weeks before Zeke’s first seizure and about a month after Speech therapy started, Zeke started sticking his tongue out. Not letting it hang, but pushing it out. I asked the speech pathologist what this was and she just figured he was becoming more aware of his mouth. I would just say, “No tongue, Zeke.” and he’d pull it back in. I started noticing drooling and she had me give him a sippy with only a straw. Magically, the drooling went away!
Then Zeke had his first seizure in May. Then his second in June. My world was rocked and shaken upside-down. I became fearful beyond anything I could handle. About
Zeke was put on medication and had an MRI scan and EEG.
The EEG came back normal but the MRI showed a tiny spot right in the middle of his brain that didn’t form. It is 2 mm in size and could barely be seen. There was no real concern for this spot although they wouldn’t ignore it completely.
Still. I slowly realized things really were not right with him. Something more was going on. He wasn’t developed where he should be. He started drooling again (not all the time, but a 2.5 year old shouldn’t drool.)Was it the seizure that lasted 12-15 minutes where he wasn’t breathing well that caused brain damage? Has he always been delayed receptively and I just didn’t realize it? My mind was racing (and still does) a million times a minute.
Then, I met with a different neurologist at the same practice who heard my concerns more than any other doctor I had yet seen. He agreed that despite a lot of people telling me, “He’s fine!”, he’s just not. There really is something more going on. He wanted to see if he may be on the Autistic spectrum and so he scheduled an appointment for me to meet with the specialist soon.
I still had a bit of hope at this point. Hope that we’d get intense therapy and watch him grow leaps and bounds to become a typical child! I was still scared, of course. I just knew to keep praying for Zeke and ask for prayer from those in our lives. To focus on truth and not the lies from hell.
I always keep Help Me Grow updated on the latest with Ezekiel and this was no acceptation. So I called them with the information. A few days later I got a call back from Zeke’s OT and she gave me information that put a pit in my stomach. She was concerned that going to see people who only specialize in Autism would only see autism and not the other things going on. She said something like, “Breena, I am concerned because there is more going on. The spot in his brain, the drooling, the speech delay, the global delay, etc”.
I was shocked and thankful. Thankful because she was really trying to help. So, I asked her point blank. ” I know you can’t predict the future. I know that none of us can, but do you see hope for Zeke becoming a typical kid? Will he get therapy and grow to become…normal?” She paused. And hesitated. But in the end it came down to this. “Do I think he’ll change and develope more? Yes.” *Pause* ” I just think there is too much going on for him to become typical someday.”
I didn’t know what to say…this was the first time anyone from Help Me Grow didn’t tell me that he’d be a typical child someday! I never beleived them because of my fear, but they didn’t see any reason to think otherwise. So, this was really hard.
My response was, “Thank you. My God is bigger than any diagnoses and we will keep praying and working with him, hoping for the best!”
So, there you have it. My heart is heavy, my eyes are tired, my patience is thin. But my faith, it’s growing. I have seen God’s healing power to bring a man back to life. I have heard countless stories of God’s miracles being