Embracing the Chaos of Motherhood…

Remember this article that every single momma (not really) was posting and “amening’ to (including me!).  The post about old woman commenting on how “time flies, cherish these moments.”

My first reaction to this article was “YES YES YES!!!”  But then something didn’t sit right with me and I kind of just let it go.  I didn’t re-post it but couldn’t figure out why.

I’d see the article again and again…

Well, let me just tell you about my night.  You know how my birthday went down (still bitter…working on that) and last night Cyrus had a fever of 103 for the 48th hour straight and woke up at 4:30 to come in my room and LOUDLY whisper “Mommy, I need a drink of water.”  As I get up, Zeke starts his foreign-bird-of-a-yell.  I get Cy his water, tuck him into bed, pick up Zeke and rock him back to sleep (knowing it would be a fight for at least a half hour.)

During all of this, I hear Eisley throwing up for the second time downstairs with Andy.  Momma instincts start kicking in and I pray that I will leave the boys’ room with peace.  Bexley was also crying so I get her and run downstairs just to be there to say, “Okay, sweet Eisley.  It’s okay.  Get it all out.  You’ll be okay.  You’ll feel better soon.”  See, us momma’s remember the important stuff even on 4 hours of sleep.

I get her water, Andy does the “other” clean up and Eisley is already saying, “BEXLEY!  How’s my sweet little girl?  Are you sicky, too, Bexley?  Are ya?”  It was so cute but I was ready for bed.

I kissed the big sister and tucked her in the couch.  ha!  I feed Bex and let her lay next to me (so cozy!).  I start falling asleep thinking, “This will be so nice.  Since Zeke was up awhile in the middle of the night, he’ll sleep past 7.  It will be glorious.”

I then hear the sound of someone going to the bathroom…”REALLY?!?”, I think.  I ever so gentle slip out of bed to check just be sure that it’s Cyrus who went pee just a half hour ago!  Then, the lovely foreign bird chimes in just to be sure I feel like I’m on an exotic island where it’s warm and sunny.

“Cy, what are you doing?”  I say calmly. (the fake kind of calm.  The kind that is NOT genuine but at least sounds that way)  Cy, “I’m going poop!  Sorry!  My bed is loud when I get in and out of it.”

Me, “That’s okay bud.  You know what to do when you’re finished.  Please be SO quiet when you come into the room.”

I go into the boys’ room to rock Zekey back to sleep.  It was about 20 minutes and still no Cyrus.  I put Zekey down thinking he’d fight me as soon as I left but he didn’t.  Praise the Lord!

I check on Cy who’s just kinda hanging out at this point.  “Loverly.” I think.  “Now, we’ll have to go BACK into the room and Zeke will wake up again and who knows when Bexley will wake up with all of this noise!”

I tuck Cy in bed ever so quietly and leave without Zeke waking up.  SCORE!  It’s 5:45 at this point, which, not to long ago was normal wake up time for Zeke.

I took Bexley to her crib so I could sprawl and enjoy a good 2 hours, I thought.  7:09 came quickly as Andy had to get up and shower for work which ended up waking everyone up.  This isn’t his fault,  my kids are really light sleepers.

Okay, so back to the article.  I completely agree that it’s not always fun and sweet and amazing and…

But then I went over to a new favorite blog, Clover Lane this morning which directed me to Then Sings My Soul blog post which helped me realize why the original article didn’t sit well with me. 

A quote from the NEW article where it really hit home,

“It can be so easy to let ourselves count down the hours until bedtime, to laugh about how nice it will be to not have ketchup on our shirts, and to sit around talking about how three year olds are so whiny and newborns don’t sleep enough and toddlers wear us out. Those are the thoughts that crop up when we are in the midst of motherhood. Those are the easy conversations to lapse into when we are with other mothers. But those are not the thoughts I want validated. Rather, I cherish the reminders that I’m missing the point. I need to be brought back to the sacredness of these moments. Yes, even the hard ones. If I find myself having too many days that I am overwhelmed and annoyed and not enjoying every moment with my children, it is usually a clue that I need to change something – about the way I parent, about the way I take care of myself, or about something simple like how we enforce certain rules in our house.”

Now THAT is what I want to “amen” to.  I admit that I will look at Andy when the kids are being obnoxious and loud and making messes left and right and say, “It’s only 6.”  And so, in the original article she brought out these thoughts I most definitely have and was extremely honest about them (which I LOVE) but I was laughing out loud and giggling at my issues and things I can work on as a mother and I want to take that seriously.

Looking back, it reminds me of the feeling when a bunch of woman are gossiping and giggling at whomever or whatever and it feels so good because you are all on the same page but walking away from it you realize (or probably should realize) that wasn’t the best thing to do.

Anywho, last night was crazy but I really do see how quickly time is going…it’s going crazy fast and I get the “cherish those moments because it goes quickly” from woman ALL THE TIME and I can honestly say, before the original article, I really did feel thankful for the older woman reminders because I had promised myself a couple of years ago that I was going to work on dreading less and loving more of those precious moments.  I did and do NOT want to wish the time away.

And guess what…my mom is one of those woman who reminds me often and I’ve always respected her for that.  I roll my eyes (only in my thoughts of course) more to people who tell me how crazy my life is (duh!  Thanks for the reminder…I almost forgot) than I do the wisdom of woman who are truly just trying to bring a ray of hope and sunshine and mean well. 

I love my babies and I know you love yours…let’s be real about the negative but focus on the positive and support each other through prayer and serving each other.

A few verses that come to mind. Actually, please read ALL of 1 Thessalonians 5 but specifically 16-18.

16 Be joyful always; 17 pray continually; 18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Amen.

6 Comments

  • Reply January 26, 2012

    Jill

    I’m sorry you had such a rough night Breena. Thank you for the encouraging reminder even in the midst of your challenging time!

  • Reply January 26, 2012

    Bree

    Thanks, Jill. God is SO with me, I can feel it! It’s a beautiful thing :)

  • Reply January 29, 2012

    Sarah

    Can you imagine single mothers out there? We are blessed to have husbands that help out when our kids are sick.

  • Reply January 30, 2012

    Bree

    Sarah, very true! I’ve helped mothers who are single and it makes me ever so thankful!

  • Reply February 3, 2012

    Erin

    I just read that same post the other day… and although I definitely could connect with it, I had the same feeling by the end. No… these ARE the moments to enjoy, to hold precious. Every moment Jesus gives us is. Having joy in each moment is not always possible. We are fallible creatures… but striving for joy in each moment- well that will totally change our lives, our perspectives, and our relationships. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others, reaching for perfection and expecting perfection from ourselves- but we do need to rest in the joy God has given us. Sometimes I look at my boys and think, “Please stop growing so quickly. God let me hold onto these moments just a bit longer.” And sometimes I do count down the hours until bedtime. :) But God is teaching me joy and gratefulness. And when I hold each moment to my heart and praise God for his grace and love… for each moment He blesses me to be these boys’ mama- well, the moments seem to stretch just a bit longer. So, thanks for sharing this. I had the same exact response.
    And here’s a post that made my heart sing… and made me remember that I’m raising children to glorify their Father… not make me look or feel good. http://lysaterkeurst.com/2012/01/i-dont-want-to-raise-a-good-child/

  • Reply February 3, 2012

    Bree

    Erin, thank you! Love your comment :) AMEN! And that post was awesome! What a great way to pray! That I would raise each child for who GOD wants them to be, not what I want them to be! AWESOME!!!!

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